share


First Blimp

Removing colour from my thoughts, I formed a winter ball. I threw it. The dead were uncounted. There was a distinct lack of emotion. A decreasing range of accountability. My histories became few. Then one. I wanted it to be like life, but I had nine, eight, seven micro-seconds with which to work. I went to shape it, and sprang it on you. No criminal consciousness. No automatic compensation. No new aftermath. I can’t count, but I try.

 

I am at home behind me. My history is an international house of calling cards. I fail to connect because I am dead or dying. It is surprising. I once considered skiing, skating, sliding, until finally I sat exhausted with my hat on. Gloves on. Long scarf and boots on. The centre of my house, on balance, is sub-zero. I peel off my socks and warm them in the microwave. I place my feet on a pillow. I wonder if this is like life. Colossal subroutines amass and disseminate above me. Then I’m right back up again, multihued historian among the clouds.


ABOUT THE CONTRIBUTOR

is the author of All This Could Be Yours..

READ NEXT

Interview

March 2017

Interview with Bae Suah

Deborah Smith

Bae Suah

Interview

March 2017

The Essayist’s Desk, published in 2003 and written when its author Bae Suah had just returned from an 11-month...

feature

Issue No. 6

The Prosaic Sublime of Béla Tarr

Rose McLaren

feature

Issue No. 6

I have to recognise it’s cosmical; the shit is cosmical. It’s not just social, it’s not just ontological, it’s really...

Prize Entry

Issue No. 20

The Refugee

Kristen Gleason

Prize Entry

Issue No. 20

Brian Ed waited outside the ration house. Merlijn took his time coming to the door, and opened it slowly....

 

Get our newsletter

 

* indicates required