look at your kitchen
look at your kitchen
oh my god
look at your kitchen
it’s delightful
only wait ’til you hear what my husband said
how it’s all very well if all you’ve got to do is look after the kids
i mean
he doesn’t have to get up in the night
i mean
he doesn’t have to get up in the morning
so i get it in early: going from being a full-time event manager with a
social life, a very fulfilling life, to being a full-time mum is a big shift i
spend a lot of time mourning my old life
i mean
i’m very happy i wouldn’t change anything but
it’s hard
it’s difficult
it’s lonely
although i’m doing the most important job in the world
i feel like a sack of shit
but
it’s fine
i’ve been volunteering
not doing a huge amount
cold calling
funny
cos thats why i had a baby in the first place
to get away from that shit
and then the festival was this weekend
for me, it was work
i was going to enjoy myself
i wouldn’t get too fucked up
and i could go back go to the tent to feed him so
friday night was fine but then
saturday lloyd disappeared
called me 2 hours later like
i’m in luton
what you doing in luton?
urghdunno
he said he was at the airport
there were people laughing in the background
i said: just remember in 2 and a half hours you’ve got to take the baby
an hour later i called again
this time he was in gatwick
what you doing in gatwick?
ughdunno
6.30 comes and the door opens
he’s soaked in alcohol
10 minutes later he’s sleeping
so i do breakfast and i go up at 7.30 to wake him
i-i-i-i think you should get up
and like it’s just so bad
i’m already this kind of person
i thought the transition was going to be harder but i’m settled i guess
anyway
guess who i met at the festival
probably one of the most famous people in the world
but it’s the motherfucking principle –
i have to go to the festival with my baby because you’ve been on a fucking
booze binge round London airports
i just felt like such a gooner
really bad
really bad
really really really bad
your responsibility
your child
you’ve known about this for 3 fucking months
i was so angry and he’s such a cunt but this is the problem – we don’t own
anything
but he has been really good since then and i understand
it’s just a shame that it manifests itself like this
but yeah since then he’s been really interactive
with the baby i mean
i really like him i mean
i’m happy i’m fine
i just don’t get to see my friends
what i want is friends who are mums
i’ve got a few people who i see at the moment but there isn’t anyone that’s
like omygodwecanbebestfriends
i haven’t met that person yet
but we do loads of activities
baby shit
but we need to do some real shit
like last night after we made up
it was really nice
it’s so embarrassing
yeah, in front of richie – that’s my terrier
sometimes i swear, it’s really naughty
i mean
i’m very lucky
i’ve got a lovely house
things are lovely
i’m proud
i’m going to join the rotary club
hope to find like-minded people
these people do mountain biking and climbing and a bit of rambling as
well
and we’re going to go to grey water sports club
we’re gonna take up canoeing
so hopefully that will open things up
and my mum, she comes every day
do you have a car?
my mum’s really helpful but very opinionated
so i told her
you care for you –
let me check
i’ve got some photos
look at thaaat
my favourite pic and it’s crazy
she literally has golden hair
that one’s from the lawyers’ weekend
Trident
my mum was so angry but I was like: hell-o-o
your daughter’s joining the rotary club
after the festival my bosses came to dinner and they’re like, this is fucking
great innit?
and we were like yeah welcome to our happy world in maidenhead
how’s it working out for you, your holiday in london?
wait until you’re married
wait until you have kids
it changes your relationship so much
lloyd won’t even put a bowl in the dishwasher
he says he doesn’t have the time but he has time to lie in bed for an hour
so i told him i’m not asking you to do the dishes
i’m asking you to bend over –
